Once upon a blog, Avocado Junior firsts were captured religiously and often the sole topic of one post after another. Those were the days when Mater and Pater assumed we were the first parents in the world, witnessing the first of, well, pretty much anything done by the world's first babies, and so we reported each burp, roll and smile accordingly. Why haven't we done the same for you, AJ4? Does that means that we love you any less? Far from it! As our last child, we are hyper sensitive to the reality that is the last time we will see one of our children do something for the first time. Unfortunately space and time is limited, and you have 3 siblings who are still breaking new ground, still embracing life's challenges, some successfully, some endearing, some not, but all newsworthy. For example, at a concert last night, your seven-year-old sister informed your Mater that her attempts at dancing were embarrassing her (Pater could have sworn he would have been the first recipient of that statement). This wasn't captured on video, but your two-year-old brother's first ice-skating attempts this morning were:
See, it's happened again! This post was meant to be all about our last child's recent firsts and it got hijacked by the other kids. Argh, concentrate Pater. No more stories about AJ1 and her proficiency as a skater...
...or AJ2 and his amazing new hockey skills...
...or AJ3 and his first pee in the toilet...okay, not showing that video, but how about his first night in a big boy bed...
OMG, stop! Hereon in, Pater solemnly swears to only recount with FTPP (First Time Parent Pride) your firsts, AJ4. Like your first Autumn...
...and your first attempt at turning over...
..and your first bath not in a sink (with a little gift left over on one occasion)...
...and your first girlfriend...
...and your first, second attempt at turning over (probably not helped by AJ2's weird obsession with sucking his thumb and touching your head whenever he sees you)...
...and your first nursery rhyme singalong...
...and your first solid food...
...and your first, third attempt at turning over...
...and your first snow (don't be fooled into thinking it will always be this light)...
...and your first bedroom (yes, the previous tenant may need to be evicted if he doesn't stay in his new bedroom)...
...and your first successful rollover (good job, buddy, and well done for being successful while only Pater and his iPhone were around. Much appreciated)...
...and of course, your first taste of being a Hass Avocado...
That's certainly a lot of firsts; Pater hopes that they were as exciting for you as they were for us. And while you're not the first of our children to be experiencing these first moments, you are the first to do so surrounded by so many adoring fans...
...who can't get over how damn cute you are!
It seems that Avocados are bloody good for you. High in protein and healthy fats, low in sugar and packed with potassium and vitamins K, B, C and E. All of this is evidently working out for the fruits themselves, which always have a robust look about them (though Pater questions one website's description of them as "meat substitutes". Sorry tofu-lovers but nothing substitutes meat!).
What's true for the fruit, certainly seems to be true for our Avocado Juniors. How else can Pater explain the continued growth and development in our children? Every time I turn around (which admittedly is not too often, unless I'm chasing my own tail), there's something new. We all still remember when AJ1 turned over in the winter of 2010 in Florida. And yet now, only a year and a half later, she's driving on her own...
...riding long extinct animals with no help from us or Barney Rubble...
...performing death-defying stunts...
...learning how to be a real Canadian...
...experimenting with makeup...
...being taught how to beat up boys (known colloquially as "karate")...
...and Pater's biggest upset: starting nursery, a prison sentence that will end for her in a little over 20 years...
Okay, okay, she's a girl. They develop quicker. It's understandable. Friends assured Pater he can rest easy in knowing that AJ2 will live up to his gender and evolve at a pace only slightly faster than the one in which Homo-Habilis became Homo-Sapien. But then how to explain him going from a cute accessory or doorstop...
...to getting leg muscles...
...and learning how to use them for practical reasons...
...and not so practical reasons...
Pater thought the achievement of standing and climbing would satisfy AJ2 for the next 18 years or so. But oh no, he had to get clever. Like Christopher Columbus before him, the travel-bug hit AJ2 and he was off...
...and when foiled in his escape attempts, AJ2 reverted to other methods of evasion...
Once Pater got past mournful declarations to Mater of "it was only yesterday that...", he pulled himself together (read: Mater slapped him). The educational system now has AJ1, so there's nothing Pater can do to stop her Ascent. But Pater can still slow down one aspect of AJ2's Ascent, notably his mobility - and is doing so by any means available...
Pater checked: sisters can still be used in warfare without contravening The Geneva Convention.
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