Hasses aren't only avocados.

Pater: Revenge is a dish that tastes best when it is cold.

Posted by Pater , Tuesday, June 26, 2012 10:10 PM

Yes, my Avocado Juniors, Pater is aware that the phrase is usually shortened but there is no shortening Don Corleone's classic line from the Classic Movie of All Time.  No, AJI, not Sleeping Beauty (though that is a good movie).  I meant The Godfather, a film Mater has yet to see, much to Pater's chagrin but that's for another blogpost.  So just how cold should the dish be?  When Uncle Tel Aviv announced that he and your oldest Cousin Tel Aviv were coming to visit, Pater lost sleep over just that question.  Back when Pater was in his twenties and single, his philosophy was "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" (this time, thank you Michael Corleone) and "always rile up other people's children since you're never around for the clean up".  While the former has yet to bite Pater on the bum, now that you two are on the scene, Pater has quietly dropped the latter.  Thankfully, living in Canada means Pater has yet to be revenged by any England- or Israel-based friends or families whose kids may have been encouraged to run around the house like meercats on sugar, when maybe they should have been quietening down for the night.  And then Uncle Tel Aviv said he was visiting.  And bringing one of those said meercats on sugar, now aged 13, with him.  That's at least 10 years worth of cold dish to be worrying about.  Pater wasn't sure what to expect.

So Day One and...nothing, just great gifts and someone to hold you two Avocado Juniors (hours before bedtime).

Day Two and...nothing, just a scene from The Blues Brothers outside Baskin Robbins and some harmless nose eating.
Day Three and...nothing, just a great day at Centre Island and probably the most boring ride a 13-year-old could ever go on (yes, AJ1, the Swan Ride is boring.  There, Pater has said it.)
 Day 5 and Pater was excepting some serious Avocado Junior riling.  Something.  Anything.  But no, just cute Canadian and Israeli Avocado Junior bonding-time (yes, Cousin Tel Aviv, you too are technically an Avocado Junior).
Even up to departure, Pater was expecting some form of revenge.  Would Uncle Tel Aviv cut off My Little Pony's head and leave it in Pater's bed?  Would he wrap AJ2's squeaky fish in a bullet proof vest and send it in a gift box to Pater?  Argh, the suspense was killing Pater (Mater was oblivious to all of this, not having seen the Classic Movie of All Time).