Why didn't the waiter like the mohel? Because he never left a tip. Why were the Chosen People given the commandment of circumcision? Because they always ask for 10% off.
Don't worry, AJ3, Pater is going to stop there, but if you can imagine these jokes being told in Yiddish, with a glint in the eye of the teller, and the promise of a 1,000 more jokes like it, then you have some idea of the great man you were named after, Pater's Uncle Har Nof. He was the funny man in the Avocado Hass family. The entertainer. As a cantor, he sang in England, Ireland, Canada, Israel and even for the wedding of Brian Epstein's brother and when praised by Paul McCartney for having a better voice than him, responded, "Yes, Mr McCartney, but I don't earn as much as you do."
But he also had the biggest heart, always going out of his way at every gathering to make sure everyone was smiling and having a good time. Even at Mater's and Pater's wedding, when everyone else was trying to dance with the bride and groom, your Great-Uncle Har Nof was helping the very young kids avoid being trampled and dance in their own little circle, so that they too could enjoy the wedding dancing.
So who better to name you after, when Mater and Pater were looking for someone we want you to emulate? Who better to act as your role model when you're wondering what kind of person you want to be when you grow up?
Mater and Pater both hope and pray, AJ3, that you grow into a man like your great-uncle who was never without a glint in his eye and a cheeky grin on his face, was always preoccupied with the welfare of others, enjoyed a deep faith that got him through all the trials and tribulations thrown his way, and had a deep, deep love for his family. And never forget 10% off.
Welcome to the world, AJ3! It's such a joy to hold you and kiss you after 9 long winter months of hibernation, so to speak. Mater is so curious as to who you will be, what you will grow into and, most importantly, how soon you will be able to say, "Mater"! With Pater running around like a happy headless chicken, getting everything ready for your first snip (no, not a haircut. Try again), I guess it's up to Mater to introduce you to mi familia (you'll meet Pater's familia later on).
Obviously, you've met Pater...
...and there's Grandma Toronto, mater's wonderful mater...
...and some of your Toronto uncles, aunts and cousins...
Leaving the best to last, Mater wants to introduce you to your very special Avocado Junior siblings. AJ3, you are going to learn oh so much from AJ1 and AJ2 - kindness, love, warmth, intelligence, faith, respect, curiosity, chattiness, sensitivity and sides-splitting humour. And judging on how excited they've both been since you were born, Mater thinks they'll want to share these very important attributes with you willingly.
Ok, enough family time, AJ3. Go get some rest. Your big day is coming up. Let's chat again soon.
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