Pater: New dog, new tricks.

Posted by Mater , Monday, January 31, 2011 9:31 PM

Warning: This is a mighty long blogpost, so take the phone off the hook, brew up a cup of coffee (or tea, depending on nationality) and slice yourself a fat piece of cake. And if you're Grandma London, make that a slice of birthday cake. Happy Birthday, Grandma London!!!

The reason it's so long, Avocado Jnr, is because you're at that great stage of getting good at things you learnt months ago, but also amazing yourself (and me and Mater) with new interests and achievements. And there's no way a short post can cover all of that!

So what are the old things? Well, eating is no longer the chore it once was. Gone are the days when we have to trick you into putting mush in your mouth. True, we seem to spend a lot of time tricking you into not rubbing food through your hair, but apart from that, you've pretty much gone solo. With honed motorskills and your five teeth (three on top, two below), you feed yourself cereal in the morning...


...deport yourself like a lady in a restaurant...

...drink from a cup (okay, so you've only done it once, but it was caught on camera and therefore a considerable achievment for you and Pater)...

...and eat bananas whole.

But it doesn't end with just nourishing yourself. We haven't got you shopping for your food. No, we've done the next best thing and have you unpacking for us (please don't report us for child labour)...

When you're not eating, you like nothing more than sitting down quietly and pondering over the mysteries of life. NOT! You're a psycho!!! Running around. Climbing onto the sofa. Pulling your toys out after they've been tidied away. Opening everything and anything. Grabbing hand towels off their rails. And we love watching you do it. We love blowing bubbles for you in the bath. We love cuddling with you in front of Elmo - the only 15 minutes in the day when you actually stay in one place. We love making you laugh. We love dancing with you (preferably to Kung Foo Fighting). Pater sometimes wonders who's entertaining whom.

Amazingly, considering your Pater and Uncle Tel Aviv, you also like hanging out with friends and family. I guess it's not just Mater's looks that you inherited. Thank God!

Remember how much we enjoyed going to the zoo? Sadly, winter is here and our trips have been curtailed by a certain Mater who claims that 10cm of snow and biting cold winds are a reason not to visit Toronto Zoo. Luckily, Pater did manage a few last trips at the end of autumn. And sometimes he even took you with...


And it wasn't just animals that you discovered. Avocado Jnr, meet your shadow. Shadow, meet your Avocado Jnr.

As always, your lack of fear, bravery or sheer stupidity had no bounds, whether it was chasing Canada Geese...

...or stroking Kimono Dragons...

But cooing over your furry and feathered friends is sooooo yesterday. Goodbye Fauna, hello Flora. Maybe it's because they're easier to stick in your mouth, but plants have, um, surplanted animals. The only thing that remains is your sheer bravery (read, stupidity). We couldn't get a photo of you trying to climb a huge cactus at the Allen Gardens Conservatory (for the obvious reason that we were trying to scream and jump at the same time in an attempt to prevent you climbing said cactus), but here are some photos of you getting friendly with less dangerous elements of Mother Nature in the last few months.

Perhaps you're most impressive advancement has gone hand in hand (foot in foot?) with you learning to walk. You always enjoyed music classes with its hand puppets, bubbles and strange out-of-work actors who smile inanely while they sing to you...


..but now that you want to run around, explore, climb and generally scare the bejesus out of Mater and Pater with your antics, where better to hang out than Gymboree and other less famous (read, expensive) indoor playgrounds? Well, at least, where better until the army lets screaming, crazy toddlers run riot on their assault courses (Mater take note: That would make a great birthday party location).

Pater knows what a lot of readers will be thinking. "So what, my baby did all of that by 16 months (your age at presstime)." "Everyone knows that that walking, playing, feeding yourself, growing teeth etc etc are all standard "achievements" of babies between 1 and 2." "Come on Hass Avocados, give us something we don't know." And even, "when is this blogpost ever going to end?"

Well here's my retort: read the top of this page. This blog is not just a record of your growth, Avocado Jnr. It's also for the grandparents. And they need to have the hope that someone in their family will end up with a degree from Harvard or Cambridge (depending on nationality). They need to boast to their friends that you are definitely showing signs of Nobel Prize worthiness.

So Pater has left the best to last. Everyone knows that babies your age are meant to show boundless curiosity. But that's where it usually ends. What does this do? Can I eat it? No? Why not? Cry. Oh looks there's a piece of food on the floor. Move on. You on the other hand perservere. Oh boy do you stick to it. If the Nobel Committee gave out prizes for stubborn persistance in the face of pure logic, you my dear Avocado Jnr would pip President Obama to the post. Mater wonders where you learnt this pigheaded need to succeed, often in the face of certain defeat. She wonders if it was nature or nurture. Pater just pretends he never heard the questions, fully aware who you inherited it and learnt it from. But wherever it came from, of one thing we're both sure: it's terribly entertaining to watch, we're pretty sure it's teaching you an important life lesson, and it earns us major points with your grandparents!

When perserverance pays off, the rewards are priceless...

But if American Idol has taught has anything it's that, sometimes, "try, try and try again" does not a good voice make. Not that this has stopped you...

And the prize for never giving up, never whining about it, never realising how puny your muscles are, goes to...

Oh and Happy Birthday again, Grandma London!!!!!

Pater: Never blink!

Posted by Mater , Monday, January 17, 2011 10:25 PM

Mea culpa, Avocado Jnr, the phantom author of the last post was correct: Mater and Pater have been remiss in their obligations on keeping your blog up to date. The Mounties are still tracking down the person/persons responsible for the blogpost in question, but in the meantime Pater will debrief on your achievements over the last few months. You ate, you slept, you pooped, now here's the photos and videos...ok, so apparently Mater wants more. Fine. You started talking - mummy, daddy, baby, Elmo, up, please (well actually, peese), hi, bye, and no. Or rather "no, no, no" as in the answer to every question we ask you. Pater can't think where you picked that up from...

You've definately grown a personality and your cuteness has multiplied with each tooth that's shown itself (3 1/2 as we go to press). But all that pales to the ants that have invaded your pants. We blinked and you went from crawling to stumbling to walking and then running. And like the Duracell bunny, you never stop. We remember with longing the days when all you did was sit on your tush and occasionally roll around a bit. We were naive, nay optimistic, that this Golden Era would last an eon. Instead gates have been put up. Sharp corners covered. Expensive items moved out of reach. It would have been easier to tie you to a post in the ground but apparently the Canadian Social Services would have something to say about that. Shame because Pater could have saved a fortune in shoes.

Eventually Pater bowed to the inevitable. Some will say he was weak to break his oath of not letting you out the house til you're 30, but what's an oath in the face of a Mater's insistence that you take your new found skills to the outside world. And so on November 7th 2010, you were shod for "real" shoes.

How can a girl get by with only one pair of outdoor shoes? Paters the world round would answer, "just fine". Unfortunately Paters the world round have no say in such matters. This one certainly didn't and a short time later, you got boots (for the all walking we were going make you do in the harsh Canadian winter???)


As a wise philosopher once said, "Have shoes, will shop".

After a long day of conspiring with Mater to deplete Pater's net worth, what better way to relax than hanging with your toys?


We love watching you play, though Pater does wonder where your lack of fear will take you next. Mater wonders if she has a tom-boy on her hands. And Grandma Toronto just wonders how you'll find a husband!


At the end of a long day, every gal likes to kick off her shoes and let her stinky feet air out. And you're no different...


Thankfully, you haven't completely forgotten how to sit down. It only lasts for a short moment. But ah, what bliss those short moments are. Post bath, middle of an ice-rink, watching TV, sitting on your grandmas. You're not fussy where you plonk yourself.


But this is the new Millenium. Sitting and walking are so passe. A girl around town needs a motor to get from A - Z. Any kind of motor.
She'll even hitch a ride with her older cousin if need be.
So is Pater worried about your new found freedom? Is he scared that your bravado will make you do something dangerous? Nah. Nope. Not at all. Pater has trust in you. Absolute faith. It's not like you're going to turn into a biker chick, hanging out on the back of some guy's Harley Davidson...