Showing posts with label running. Show all posts
Showing posts with label running. Show all posts

Mater: Next stop London

Posted by Pater , Tuesday, July 3, 2012 12:52 AM

Dear Mr President of the Canadian Olympic Committee

Pater and I realize we've leaving this a little late, but we were wondering if you'd consider selecting AJ1 to represent Canada in the London 2012 Olympics.  We know there may be some objections, such as the fact that you've already chosen the 277 Canadian athletes who are going to the Games of the XXX Olympiad, but she's only small.  Who would notice if 277.3 athletes attended?  And you don't even need to worry about accomodation - Grandma London has already got a bed ready for her.  Maybe you're worrying that the IOC only produced a certain amount of gold medals for the winners.  Not to worry - Grandma Toronto has a whole supply of chocolate gold coins that will keep AJ1 happy (not to mention quiet).  Still not convinced?  Then take a look at her progress over the last 6 months in her gym class and maybe you'll change your mind.

See, a natural climber and rope swinger!  Ok, Pater said they weren't proper sports and that we'd need better proof of her Olympic skills.  So how about the monkey bar (and don't pretend that's not what you call it unofficially).
And isn't it time Canada won a medal at Bear Walking on Parallel Bars?
Mater hears that the running events aren't as popular to watch as they used to be.  Maybe if the IOC considered using rubber surfaces, it might draw more viewers.  And if they do, guess who's got a lead on the competition?
AJ1 is also really good at jumping.  You're probably shaking your head at this point; only a really backwards country could be proud of winning gold in a jumping competition, but you may change your mind.  And if you do, we nominate AJ1.
And if winning a medal for trampolining is still too embarrassing for you to consider, how about Sizzle, Sizzle, Pop?  I guarantee we'll beat the Americans and Chinese at it.
At this point, you're probably wondering if AJ1 would be better off at the animal olympics since she can swing like an ape, climb (small) mountains like a goat, hang like a monkey (noises optional), walk like a bear, hop like a bunny and jump like a kangeroo.  But how about a straight forward balancing beam.  And unlike some countries who excel in this sport, AJ1 REALLY IS UNDER FIVE!!!
Okay, okay, no more nagging.  Mater knows when not to push it.  Please let us know your decision as quickly as possible so that I can get her a whole new wardrobe from Lululemon.  And if you need any references, Grandmas London and Toronto will happily chat with you for hours on AJ1's achievements (did you know she can feed herself and is nearly potty trained?).

Yours sincerely
Mater Avocado Hass

p.s. should you decide to choose AJ1 for Team Canada and then someone else drops out (due to injury, drugs or ordering one too many 4x4s at Tim Hortons), Mater does have another athlete for you to consider...

Pater: Snow use hanging around

Posted by Pater , Wednesday, February 29, 2012 10:55 PM

Ah the famous Canadian Winter.  Legendary, some would say.  If that's the case, this year's winter in the land of the Canucks was nothing more than a fable.  Blame it on global warming, el nino or simply Pater's prayers finally coming true, but freezing cold weather and blankets of snow from November to April did not happen in Toronto 2012.  Not that it really made a difference to you, AJ2 with your thick clothes, thick blankets and thick thighs (seriously, is Mater feeding you oil and cream?).  Yes, AJ1, you did spend more time in it than last year and even learnt how edible snow is (STAY AWAY FROM THE YELLOW VARIETY!)...
 
...but we had to go all the way to the Toronto Harbour Front to find a pile of the white stuff large enough to actually climb...
But why learn the word Snowman, with the associated hassle of putting on and taking off multiple layers of clothes, if you can learn the word Snowbird and, um, wear the bare minimum in Florida.
Mater and Pater don't like to play favourites.  Since, AJ1, you have two stamps in your passport (US and Israel), and we're not planning another 12 hour FFH (Flight From Hell) to revisit Israel until you're all grown up (and can sit for more than 5 minutes watching a film) we did the next best thing to ensure you, AJ2, also have 2 stamps.  So from the US, we took you to the Bahamas, leaving AJ1 with Grandma Toronto. Obviously.
The Bahamas was great and, AJ2, you had a great time in the pool, seeing all the sharks and fish and even the loud carnival in the night.  But you obviously pined for your sister, who, according to reports from Grandma Toronto, barely noticed we were missing.  But once we were back, we quickly fell into a routine of swimming, lounging (when AJ1 let us) and eating.
 
Oh it wasn't all lying around relaxing.  Pater and AJ2 wanted laziness, but "thankfully" AJ1, you and Mater were there to make sure we kept busy.
Doing new stuff is cool but sometimes you hanker for the familiar.  And what's more familiar to us than visiting a zoo?  And not just any old visit but one that includes, AJ1, your best friends in the whole wide world!!!
Pater can only assume that Mater took the following photo because there is a definite "no holding hands" rule when Pater is around.  Especially in a state famous for it's lax gun control laws.
You've seen animals, chased Ibises, rode a dragon, what next?  Oh yes, strip naked and run around the zoo's splash pad over and over and over again.
And when you get back after a long day out at the beach, swimming pool, zoo or your billionth shopping mall (what's up with everyone walking around with suitcases in Floridian malls?), what's better, AJ1 and AJ2, than hanging out with your olds? Pater should clarify, since Florida is full of wrinklies, that by olds, he means your parents.
 
As any fan of The West Wing knows, all good things must come to an end.  After a great vacation in the Sunshine State, it was time to pack up our stuff, hop on a plane (don't be deceived by the photo - AJ1 sat in that calm position for mere minutes) and get back to normality.  Even if the Toronto winter weather was far from normal.