On the sixth day God made Man. On your sixth day, Avocado Jnr, you made something slightly less impressive. And Mater decided it was Pater's turn to dispose of it. Thankfully it wasn't anything nuclear. But brave Pater didn't know that when he started and so he definately deserves points for trying!
Also on your sixth day in this world, Pater discovered that his camera can take black & white photos, and sepia photos. Oh the joy. Oh the rapture. In one day, Pater changed a diaper and discovered another reason to takes lots of photos. God probably didn't have this much fun when He created Man! Tomorrow Pater will have to rest after all that excitement.
In the deep heart of Toronto's Chinatown lies the last trace of a once vibrant Jewish community; the Anshei Minsk shul.
The building of this small but impressive shul was completed in 1930. Seventy nine years later, on September 26th, Pater entered the shul at 9.25am, having been given very precise directions from Mater (which Pater was forced to repeat out loud because Mater didn't trust him). The rabbi of the shul introduced himself and found out that Pater was a Man With A Mission. At around 11am, Pater was called up to the Torah for the reading of the sixth portion.
After the reading, the rabbi informed the congregants that you had been born and that Pater would be naming you. He then asked for suggestions as to what to call you. Pater was tempted with some of the names called out but the sweet voice of Mater rang in his ears, "I'll kill you if you get this wrong." And so it was, ignoring the advice to name you Melula and Rhoxie, that Pater told the rabbi your name for now and all of eternity... But to us you will always be Avocado Jnr.
Named for two great-grandmothers, we hope that you follow in their path and grow up to be a beautiful, intelligent, spiritual woman, full of modesty, sensitivity, humour and an awareness of your background.
Welcome to the world, our beautiful Avocado Jnr. And as if your birth was not miraculous enough, it took place at Mount Sinai. No, not the one in the Sinai Peninsula, Egypt...
So what happened? Well let's start at the beginning...
Mater and Pater first rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital on Tuesday, 22nd September, in the afternoon. You weren't ripe yet. We came back Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. You still weren't ripe. Finally, after a day of contractions and walking, you decided it was time. We left home at 6.45am on Wednesday 24th September and after a brief stay in triage, were admitted to the room you see below. No, not a hotel room, but close!
It was there that Mater discovered a real miracle. Epidural anesthesia. And this is the magic button that made Mater keep experiencing this miracle.
I'd like to say things sped up once we got to the labour room. I'd like to. But I can't. We got into the room at 8am. At 8pm we had a 4cm dilated cervix, Survivor Samoa on TV but no Avocado Jnr. Mater had a snooze until the nice doctor came in at 10pm and let us know that Mater was 8cm. Your head hadn't dropped fully but no one was really concerned. That changed at middnight when your heart rate dropped, your head still hadn't dropped fully and the doctors rushed in like an episode from ER. Your heart rate went back up and Mater was 10cm but we decided that your time for harvesting couldn't wait. With the help of a sterile room, some scrubs for Pater and a lot of doctors and nurses, you were delivered by C Section at 12.22 on Friday 25th September 2009. You had a bit of fluid on the lungs and were obviously upset at being evicted from the safety of Mater's womb so the nice doctors put you in the NICU for a day. But by the end of your first day in the world you were back in the loving arms of Mater and Pater. And that's where you're staying FOR EVER!
It's a well known fact that that although Hass Avocados can grow in the shade they are most productive when placed in full sun. That is why your earliest vacation memory will probably be of Pater stretched out by the pool, absorbing as much Vitamin D as possible.
I know what your next question will be, Avocado Junior. It's an obvious one. If Hass Avocados are happier and healthier in the sun then why, oh why, did we leave a country that has this:
and this:
to move to a country that has this:
and this:
And my answer, like many of the answers I will give you throughout your rich and varied life is...ask Mater, it was her decision.
So Pater has been asking me to post before and during pictures of the development of Avocado Junior. I can't decide if this is a way of documenting the development for the baby or for his own amusement. In any case, I clearly have had one too many avocados.
The before shot
The During shot
As you can see, we've come a long way - the watermelon, macaroni, cheese danish, rugalach and cookie addictions didn't do much to help the cause, but I say it's all genetic - or water. I mean, the "severe generalized edema" the doctor likes to call my current state - it's really just water retention, right? Nothing a few bathroom stops won't fix.
In other news, I went shopping for your big birthday party and bought lots of stuff for your arrival! Do you think balloons were too much? Hmmm... I hope you like what I got you. It's stressful, really. How do I know if you'll like nail clippers or scissors? Or which diaper rash cream you'll prefer? I guess your bum will let us know soon one way or another. I have to admit though, that I didn't care for the things I had to buy for myself for your birthday party. Please be gentle on me, okay? Deal.
See you soon!!!
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