Hasses aren't only avocados.: February 2017

Pater: Creating memories

Posted by Pater , Sunday, February 19, 2017 11:16 PM

In years to come, when you look back at this blog, Avocado Juniors, you'll notice that we tend to stay away from the political arena. In twenty years time, you might have a leaning to the Liberal left or (if Grandma Toronto has her way) to the Conservative right, but currently you are innocent and naive and our blog posts reflect that. Which is why Mater and Pater will be making no comments about what is going on South of the Border, and will most certainly not be discussing the current reality whereby the country that can boast great leaders like Washington, Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Reagan has now elected a property tycoon with no experience in governing a city, much less the most powerful country in the history of the world. Not that any of the countries that you feasibly could claim a passport from, have escaped political turmoil. Brexit in the UK. A race to the political far-right in Hungary and Poland. A Prime Minister under investigation in Israel. And a South African President who seeks to escape the risk of international law tribunals by withdrawing from the ICC. Pater and Mater only hope that when you're reading back over this blog in twenty years, there is a bit more sanity governing this great planet of ours. But if not, we recommend that you find a place to escape to. A place where, with close friends and family, you can ooh and ahh over the wonders you're seeing, the fun you're having, the chocolate you're eating and the memories you're creating.

Which is what we did on February 19th 2017, when we upped sticks and packed two weeks worth of clothes and food to stay overnight in Niagara Falls with some friends. What was the occasion? Family Day, that strange excuse for a statutory holiday that different provincial governments in Canada at different times since 1990, created out of thin air (usually to get re-elected). Admittedly the fun didn't start the moment we got in the car...

... but a little under two hours later, we arrived and with our room not yet ready and a clear blue sky outside, we decided to go see the iconic Horseshoe Falls (the boys' first time). And what a sight! 85,000 cubic feet of water per second, crashing on to the sharp rocks below! A spectral white mist raising above the freezing cold water! And rainbows every where you looked! Pater's camera nearly exploded trying to capture all those exclamation marks!!!

AJ1 asked what was on the other side from where we were standing and was shocked when the answer was America. Grandma Toronto is in America! said AJ1. Does that mean Grandma Toronto is over there, asked AJ2, squinting his eyes for a potential gift that he expects all grandmas to have with them at all times. No, Mater explained, Grandma Toronto is in Florida which is very far from here. The risk of a bad memory for AJ2 was quickly averted by a quick witted Mater spotting an ice cream stand nearby. Phew.

We did return one more time that evening to see the Falls all lit up...

...and then spent the rest of our two days checking out the Las Vegas-like sights of Niagara Falls...

...having an amazing time in the water park (giddy with joy from the wave pool, crazy slides and the vapours from a ridiculously high level of chlorine in the water)...

...playing crazy golf...

...and of course, experiencing chocolate...

Avocado Juniors, we hope you have good memories from your time in Niagara Falls. Mater and Pater certainly do...

...but then again, we remember our first time there together almost ten years to the day...

Posted in friends, golf, Hersheys, memories, Niagara Falls, Pater, sleeping, slide, splash pad, swimming | 0 comments

Pater: The ultimate sacrifice

Posted by Pater , Sunday, February 12, 2017 9:32 PM

There are three known types of avocados, named for their places of origin: Mexican avocados (Persea americana var. drymifolia), West Indian (Persea americana var. americana) and Guatemalan avocados (Persea nubigena var. guatemalensis). Of the three, Mexican avocados are the most hardy and can survive temperatures down to -4 degrees Celsius (25 degrees Fahrenheit).

However, less well known is the very rare Canadian-American-English-South African-Hungarian-Polish-Israeli avocado (Persea confuseda var. hass) that can survive in climates as low as -10 degrees Celsius (and -15 when the crazy Canadian wind chill factor is taken into consideration). Some have even claimed (though obviously not Pater and Mater) that it will particularly flourish when brought into contact with snow.

So you can imagine our chagrin (and amazement - THIS IS CANADA PEOPLE!) when we reached mid-February and no major snow had fallen to allow you Avocado Juniors to flourish. No snow balls. No snow men. No snow to eat (yellow or otherwise - AJ3 J'accuse!).

This was particularly galling since AJ4 was finally ready to sit up and enjoy the snow, having made the move from this...

...with the help of this...

...to this...

But did Mater and Pater throw our hands up in the air in despair, and resign you to a winter spent indoors? Well kinda...

And then Pater had an epiphany - while holding some cutlery and taking ice cubes out of the freezer - who needs snow to enjoy the winter? Why not tie knives to your boots and you can run around on the ice? And so it was said, and so it was done...

Ice is nice, but it's no snow, the Avocado Juniors wailed in quasi-haiku. Then, said Pater, we will need to turn to a tradition from time immemorial and offer a sacrifice to the gods of winter. And no, not AJ3 (we want snow, not a blizzard). How about something white and pure? asked AJ1 with a smile...

Nope, not getting it, said Pater. How about now? asked AJ1...

At this point Pater passed out from the grossness of AJ1's first wiggly tooth. Which was actually a blessing because when he awoke, Pater discovered that AJ1 had (literally) pulled out said wiggly tooth, resulting in this...