Canada has over 36 million citizens, making up 0.5% of the world population. Some speak English, some speak French, most speak at least one other language at home. Some are deeply urban, others are rural to the bone. Avocado Juniors, it is therefore extremely difficult to assign a stereotype to the country you call home. Not that this will stop Pater from trying... As you grow up, you will notice that even in the most formal of settings, Canadians are remarkably informal and casual; with rare exception, they are well behaved and courteous in public; and your fellow countrymen avoid confrontation where possible.
All of which is going to make your life that much confusing as you grow up in a family that is part British and Hungarian (the royal founders of formality), part American (the people who elected the wall-flower President-Elect Trump, say no more), and part Israelis and South African (informal, yes; courteous and non-confrontational, no!). As the Jewish New Year comes around and we enjoy a period synonymous with introspection, Pater wonders what effect this mishmash of influences will have on you all...
Throw into the mixture Cousin Australia, visiting Grandma Toronto for her big birthday shindig, and it's no wonder AJ1 has changed her name to Sheila, AJ2 keeps asking to tie his kangaroo down (sport), AJ3 has lost his didgeridoo, and AJ4 is scared a dingo might steal him.
The confusion doesn't stop with the multi-national people you have the fortune to call family. In most Canadian households, the only vegetation that counts at this time of the year is orange...
...but in a Jewish household the flora is more of an ancient Middle Eastern theme, with hints of citrus and myrtle wafting through the air...
At worst, this United Nations of experiences will give you something to discuss with your shrink in the privacy of their office, when you're older - or just about anyone you meet anywhere (if you move to Israel or America); or compartmentalise and never discuss with anyone (if you move to England). At best, you can proudly declare that you are each members of a very select, lucky group that only has four, extremely unique citizens...
Avocado Jnrs, atttennshun! Summer is over, the leaves are changing colour. In this Mater's army, that can only mean one thing - time to Fall In! So here's the Fall In drill:
1) shorts & t-shirts off, coats & scarves on
2) Play inside, good. Play outside, avoidable since it requires extra layers
3) Long hair, out. Buzz cuts, in (especially when Mater trusts Pater with taking AJ2 for a haircut...for the last time...ever)
4) Photos with leaves and pumpkins are a must
5) Learn a military dirge for our next 5 mile march. Mater just happens to have one prepared:
I don't know but I've been told; when summer goes, it gets cold. (repeat)
I don't know but it's been said; Mater suggested somewhere warm but Pater took you to the zoo instead (say it quickly!)
Sound off,
one, two!
Sound off,
three, four!
Sound off,
one, two,
three, four.
THREE, FOUR!
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