It may (!) have been hinted at in previous posts that the Hass Avocados have a tiny, barely noticeable obsession with the festival of Purim. With Pater taking more of a back-seat this year following the loss of Grandpa London, Mater let you Avocado Juniors decide for yourself what to dress up as. The results were impressive...
...but in Mater's extremely humble (!) opinion, they were too all-over-the-place. Where's the challenge in that? Doesn't everyone know that Purim requires the 4 Cs??? Creative, cute and cohesive costumes. But as you Avocado Juniors get older and older, that gets harder and harder. Mater was complaining to Pater that inspiration doesn't come as easy it used to. Disney, Lego, Animals blah blah blah. Pater shrugged and suggested that the answer might be staring us in our face so why go crazy with outlandish (read: expensive) ideas. Mater laughed him off. As if it's that easy! Everyone knows that inspiration costs money!
But why not humor Pater? So here's what we know, Avocado Juniors: individually you may act like demons, but collectively you are a wonderful, sweet, adorable and saintly, dare I say, holy, bunch...
And when you throw in our name sakes...
...Mater realized that our theme for Purim this year
was staring her in the face!!!
Happy Purim!!!!
Avocado Juniors, you will be taught very early in life that being en vogue in your endeavours and capturing the zeitgeist with your thoughts, are of paramount importance. Cliches are just so cliche. Fresh is best. To which Pater says, blah blah blah - which incidentally is a phrase first used by the Ancient Greeks ("bar bar bar" from the same root as barbarian and implying meaningless noises) and demonstrates just how far back Pater is prepared to go to prove his point that oldies are goodies! Why this sudden attack on our modern-day requirement for only serving up the new and rejecting the old? Let me take you back, way back, to last autumn...
It was late September 2017 and Mater and Pater had started to put on our thinking caps. What to dress up as? Who will wear what? And what candy will match our theme? While a lot of North American parents were thinking the same thoughts, they were only planning for Halloween. But not Mater and Pater. We were planning for five months hence, for the most wonderful, most exciting, most amazing Jewish festival of them all. That's right my Avocado Juniors, PURIM!!!! (Incidentally, despite what many will claim, we were not insane to start planning then - that is the only time of the year when a whole plethora of costumes are available. Wait until February and you're lucky to get a second hand witch costume).
But after so many years of dressing up for Purim, we had exhausted all the good themes (Lego, animals, princesses, kids movies etc etc) and rejected so many bad themes (which Pater will not list to avoid insulting anyone and just in case we end up running out of choices next year). None of the movies of 2017 were stand-out enough to inspire us and all the great ideas we came up with could not be stretched over 6 different costumes. Argh, what to do, what to do???
And then Pater had it. It was an old and dated theme. But, thanks to Disney purchasing and then restarting the franchise, it was also new and, certainly for AJ1 and AJ2, fresh. Waiving his hand mysteriously and muttering "you will like the idea", Pater suggested dressing up as Star Wars (and then, just to be safe, quickly ducked behind the sofa in case Mater used her death grip on his throat). The universe waited while Mater mulled it over. But it seemed that Pater's Jedi tricks had worked. She smiled.
So the costumes were ordered and, incredibly, the Avocado Juniors managed to keep everything as secret as the Death Star (AJ1 tried to send out the info via a friendly yet weird robot, but Pater infiltrated it) until, finally, Purim arrived...
Ok, the characters were old. The theme was dated. But AJ1 looked amazing as Rey...
...AJ2 got to fulfill his life long dream (at least, his life long dream since Pater took him to see Star Wars) of being Darth Vader...
...AJ3 was convinced Stormtroopers were the heros of the story...
...AJ4 was the cutest Yoda ever...
...and Mater not only rocked it as Queen Amidala (joined by a very cool Obi Wan Kenobi), but also had lots of fun putting together an amazing mishloach manot for our friends and family...
Throw in some Kangoo Boots (the next best thing to using the Force to jump around; thanks Aunty Toronto!)...
...and, of course, light sabers...
...and you basically have an oldie that was very much a goodie. Pater and Mater only hope that you Avocado Juniors continue to view us that way, Purim or otherwise!!!
Dear Ms Degeneres (my Pater said it's not polite to call you Ellen),
My name is AJ1 and I'm a big fan (of your voice; I'm not sure what you look like since I go to school when your show is on). Me and my brothers just saw Finding Dory and really enjoyed it. The trouble is, we're not sure we can wait 13 years until the next Finding movie, so we started thinking about an idea for you to work on now.
We were helped in our brainstorming (that's a Fancy Nancy word for "thinking hard") by the Jewish festival of Purim. As I'm sure you know, on this day each year, Jews all over the world get dressed up in costumes to celebrate the victory of a lowly orphan girl over an evil wizard. Pater just told me off for Disneyfying the story, but its okay because a) I don't know what that means and b) Mater just sent him to the time-out-step for interferring. So there we were, looking at costumes, when it hit us...Finding Monkey!!! It is the story of how scary Darth Vader, a talented pop star, and a cute wolf, help an adorable little monkey find his banana...
And we even found a perfect setting for our movie - a bouncy castle and ball pit!!!
And then Mater pointed out that the idea might not sound so feasible (that's a Fancy Nancy word for "dumb"). So we went back to the drawing board. Or rather I did. AJ2 got a little preoccupied (that's a Fancy Nancy word for "can't get it out of his mind no matter what") with all the Mishloach Manot (food) that we give each other on Purim...
I decided to apply some Grade 2 logic to the situation. Dory helped Marlin find Nemo. Nemo and Marlin helped Dory find her parents. If only someone else could be lost and then you'd be forced to make another movie. But who?!!! Nemo again?
Nah, Marlin's never letting Nemo out of his sight. So how about Dory again?
Dory might be forgetful but us kids aren't. We need a new gimmick (that's Fancy Nancy for "shtick", which is Fancy Shmancy for "idea"). How about Hank the octopus?
For some reason AJ2 didn't like that idea. Mater and Pater thought people might want to see more of those crazy sharks...
...but I think
Finding Jaws may scare people away. So who's left? And that's when it hit me - how about that cute little turtle!
I can see it now...
Finding AJ4!!!! We ran the idea past some important people and they loved it!
And then we ran it past some REALLY important people and they thought it would be HUUUUGE...
Ellen, we've thought of everything! How to walk (or in some cases, crawl) down the red carpet for the film premiere (that's Fancy Nancy for "first")...
...what snacks to eat while watching the movie...
...and even what award we'll win for this movie...
Even though you're in California and we're in Toronto, I can sense you're still not sure. Perhaps you just can't envision (that Fancy Nancy for "seeing") it yet. Does this help?
I knew that would capture your interest. Have your people, call my people (i.e. Mater or Pater) and we'll do seudah!
Happy Purim!
Love AJ1
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