Hasses aren't only avocados.

Pater: The ultimate sacrifice

Posted by Pater , Sunday, February 12, 2017 9:32 PM

There are three known types of avocados, named for their places of origin: Mexican avocados (Persea americana var. drymifolia), West Indian (Persea americana var. americana) and Guatemalan avocados (Persea nubigena var. guatemalensis).  Of the three, Mexican avocados are the most hardy and can survive temperatures down to -4 degrees Celsius (25 degrees Fahrenheit). 

However, less well known is the very rare Canadian-American-English-South African-Hungarian-Polish-Israeli avocado (Persea confuseda var. hass) that can survive in climates as low as -10 degrees Celsius (and -15 when the crazy Canadian wind chill factor is taken into consideration). Some have even claimed (though obviously not Pater and Mater) that it will particularly flourish when brought into contact with snow.

So you can imagine our chagrin (and amazement - THIS IS CANADA PEOPLE!) when we reached mid-February and no major snow had fallen to allow you Avocado Juniors to flourish.  No snow balls.  No snow men.  No snow to eat (yellow or otherwise - AJ3 J'accuse!).  

This was particularly galling since AJ4 was finally ready to sit up and enjoy the snow, having made the move from this...

...with the help of this...
 And then Pater had an epiphany - while holding some cutlery and taking ice cubes out of the freezer - who needs snow to enjoy the winter?  Why not tie knives to your boots and you can run around on the ice?  And so it was said, and so it was done...
Ice is nice, but it's no snow, the Avocado Juniors wailed in quasi-haiku. Then, said Pater, we will need to turn to a tradition from time immemorial and offer a sacrifice to the gods of winter.  And no, not AJ3 (we want snow, not a blizzard).  How about something white and pure? asked AJ1 with a smile...
Nope, not getting it, said Pater.  How about now? asked AJ1...