Hasses aren't only avocados.

Pater: Hass Avocados

Posted by Pater , Monday, August 24, 2009 12:18 AM

What do we know about the small pear-shaped fruit that is synonymous with our surname, my beautiful Avocado Junior? Well, the Hass Avocado is the most important avocado in the commercial market worldwide, making about $1 billion a year. Not that I've ever seen a dime of that. When ripe, this fruit yields to gentle pressure. When I'm a little merry from alcohol I've also been known to yield to gentle pressure. The Hass Avocado trees have a tendency to produce well in alternate years. And that's as far as my analogy can go. Yes, I could make a link between the fruit's ugly greeny-brown exterior and certain members of my family. Or the fact that even once you get past the hideous casing, the fruit's yellowy-green interior requires a ton of salt, pepper and lemon to give it any flavour. I could. But I won't. Because that's a topic for another blog.

No, the aim of this blog is to create something for you, our Avocado Junior, to look at one day and find out why we did what we did when we did. Or something like that. Parenting is a huge adventure into the unknown and while you may think we know what we're doing, the truth is we have no bloody idea. Maybe putting this down in black and white is a mistake and will work against us when you want to divorce us and needs formal proof. Or maybe it will save you hours in therapy fees, not least because the therapist can just catch up on our mistakes on the internet. So much cheaper than long sessions of hypnotherapy.

But then again, maybe this whole blog isn't a selfless work for you. Maybe, as it says above, the whole blog is nothing more than our way of getting the grandparents off our back. No more will we have to provide detailed descriptions of what Avocado Junior is doing. A simple "read the blog!" and we can go about our business.

Or maybe this blog serves several purposes. Much like the noble Hass Avocado, packed with vitamin B and folic acids, and as tasty in dip form as it is whole in a salad.